Saturday, November 26, 2011

I do not have a sex tape

It isn’t easy being a wine snob in Eastern Passage. It is made more difficult due to my absolute ignorance of wine and winology. But I have never let my ignorance preclude me from forming an opinion. I could have titled this site as the Eastern Passage Middle East Expert, or Easily Pleasing Women from Eastern Passage, but neither of these titles are as inebriating. 

This is the spirit of Eastern Passage Snobbery. (Notice anti-mosquito candle.)
My knowledge of wine is pretty limited. I do have several winos passed out at the base of my family tree, but they don’t say much and they smell like urine. It wasn’t until recently did I discover that there are two flavors of wine, white and red. I like red wine, and I have learned that I get better looking with each glass. 
I m also an expert of frozen girl drinks

When people hear about my blog they instantly think I am an expert. A couple of months ago I did a radio interview about this blog. The host spent 8 minutes probing my knowledge. It was the aural equivalent of arriving at a stop light and watching the person in the next lane pick his nose for an elusive booger, only to come up empty.
The first sip is always the best. That is why I take many drinks.

I have made attempts to explain that I am a wine idiot, but I have learned people are desperate for snobbery savants. I am like Kim Kardashian, and Paris Hilton, though I do not have a sex tape.
I can not remember where this drink was taken- probably for the best.

I have now reluctantly accepted the fact that I am the wine resource for my close circle of friends. It is a tremendous responsibility and I view it as such. I have added bookmarks to my browser and follow vineyards’ tweets. I smell wine before I drink it. I scrutinize the label on the back of the bottle searching for gold italicized font- a true measure of a wine’s quality.
Drank after a close call with a mountain.

I recently tweeted to my 17 ‘followers’ asking if anyone was interested in a re-deux of a Eastern Passage Wine Snobbery Snob In. To my surprise, I received an invite from a local restaurant to have the ‘event’ at their place. I politely reminded them that I didn’t have a sex tape and I was an idiot. 
Chasing fast boats in the Caribbean is thirsty work.